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Table
of Contents- June, 2005 |
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Parenting CDs Now
Available! I'm excited to announce that I
now have three parenting CDs available for busy parents! I've selected the
three most popular classes that I offer and recorded them on a
CD. That way, you can still get the same helpful
information, but at a time that fits YOUR
schedule! The CDs I have available are:
"Are You Listening? You'll gain 10 positive
discipline options plus 10 ways to gain more compliance from your
child(ren) from these three CDs! The CDs sell for $19.99 (plus
shipping), but until June 30, I'm offering a discount of 15% to those who
buy all three CDs. The CDs are available on my website,
www.familiesfirstcoaching.com under
the "Shopping" icon on the home page. Start the summer feeling
confident in your parenting skills with the many parenting tips
offered! Free Sample Parent Coaching
Session
If you'd like to know more about me
and give parent coaching a try, just e-mail me at:
toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or give me a call at 612-810-8687 and we
can schedule a free sample session. During this time, we'll get acquainted
and you can share the topics you might like to cover with a parent coach.
Together, we can figure out if parent coaching would be helpful to meet
the needs of your family. Toni is
proud to be an Alliance Coach
with:
Check out the website at
www.unlimitedgrowthpotential.com |
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Mommy
Overload A
funny thing happened in the month of May. I observed the
following:
Many
times this past month, I've had conversations with moms about how burnt
out they are. About how stressed they feel. About the lack of
joy they're feeling. What
gives? Mommy
overload. Cultural expectations of parents are tremendous
these days. Many of us work, yet child care is pathetically inadequate.
We're expected to help our children more with schoolwork because
classrooms are overcrowded and the pressure for performance standards is
high. Due to budget cuts, our children can no longer stay after
school for sports activities and ride the bus home, so we're forced to
haul our kids all over for practices and games outside of school. No
longer can kids roam freely to play, so we have to supervise and arrange
"playdates." A
cultural norm has emerged to produce "super kids" who practice a sport
three times a week, compete in travelling teams on the weekends and get
invited to sport camps run by professionals -- all at the age of 9, while
participating in 3-5 other activities in the pursuit of ...? Making them a
better person? And
more often than not, extended family lives far away, so there are fewer
people we trust to help out with the
kids. Who
wouldn't be stressed? A
Newsweek story entitled "Mommy Madness" (February,
2005) confirms my observations. The author, Judith Warner,
quotes a study saying that "70 percent of American moms find motherhood
today incredibly stressful." Warner makes the case that women today parent in
an "excessive control-freakish way" because society-at-large does not
support parenting in a "meaningful way." Our society could provide:
government-mandated child care standards; vouchers for affordable child
care for parents who work; tax policies that would assist the middle class
in living comfortably on one income; health insurance for all children; or
tax subsidies that encourage companies to be family-friendly. Think how
these changes could assist your family. Warner claims that until these systemic changes
occur, we'll continue at this frenetic pace. I beg to
differ. While these changes are necessary and important to pursue, I
believe that we make choices every day that effect the level of stress we
face. So,
what's to be done? Take
back our lives! Fight the norm! Say no! Delegate! Underschedule! Ask
yourself how many activites will my child be involved in? What are
the pressures that these organizations demand of my child and me? Is my
life so child-driven that I have no time left for recharging my own soul?
Can I find ways to make my job more amenable to the life I want to
lead? Make
a commitment to find balance. Finding balance takes work, but you'll feel
less stressed, more energized and find more joy, when you take charge of
your life. My
gift to you this month, is an offer to take my two-part private teleclass,
"Overscheduled? Take Action to Improve Your Work/Family Balance Now"
for half-price, or just $75. I'm offering this two-part,
two-hour private class to provide you with a respite from the storm, to
help you sort out your values and priorities so you can lead the life you
want to lead and not have someone else making those decisions for you. I
hope you'll take me up on my offer. Just send me an e-mail to register
(toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com)
and we'll set up a time to begin. I'd
like to close with a quote that a wise friend, "Every time I say yes when I mean no, I am
abandoning myself, and I end up feeling used or resentful or frantic. But
when I say no when I mean no, it's so sane and healthy and it creates a
little glade around me in which I can get the nourishment I need.
Then I help people from a place of real abundance and
health..." |
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Positive
Discipline Options Each
month a positive discipline option is offered. Collect them all and expand
your repertoire! Definition: The
word "discipline" is from the root word "disciple" which means "one who
teaches." The essence of discipline, therefore, is
to provide a learning experience for the child to grow. (Provided by Dave
Hudson) Humor, Fun and
Games Have you ever considered using humor,
fun or games as a discipline tool? What I'm talking about
is looking at a child's minor misbehavior in a light, funny way. You and
your child can both have fun yet still solve the
problem. For instance, if your child doesn't
want to go upstairs to get ready for bed, you can say "Last one upstairs
is a rotten egg!" and race them upstairs to make it
fun. If your child is prone to whining,
you can give the whiny voice a name like "Sybil" or "Freddie" and when you
hear that voice you say "OH NO!! It's Sybil! Help!
Help! We must find (your child's name) before it's too
late!" If your child has asked you
repeatedly to go shopping and you're sick of saying "no" tickle them
instead and say that you'd much rather have a tickle
fight. Adding humor to your repertoire makes
you feel like less of a "heavy" and your child will appreciate it,
too. |
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Upcoming
TeleClasses Take these classes from the comfort of home!
You'll join other parents, via telephone, for parenting tips and a lively
discussion all while sitting in your favorite armchair! There's no need to
waste time driving to classes when you can participate from home in a
"teleclass." “Kids Driving
You Crazy? “Overscheduled? Take
Action to Improve Your Work/Family Balance Now!”
“Five Practical
Steps for Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem” While self-esteem is a complex
matter, this class will provide practical suggestions on helping your
child feel confident and capable. Concrete tools that will help your
child grow stronger in five areas will be provided. Monday, June 27, 7:00 p.m. to 8:15 p.m. (6-7:15
p.m. CST), $25. To register: e-mail
toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call
612-810-8687. In-Person
Classes "Five Practical Steps
for Boosting Your Child's Self-Esteem" While self-esteem is a complex
matter, this class will provide practical suggestions on helping you child
feel confident and capable. Concrete tools that will help your child
grow stronger in five areas will be provided. Thurs., June 2,
12 - 1 p.m.,
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Parent-to-Parent
This is a place for parents
to exchange ideas. Would you like to get ideas from other parents about a
parenting concern? Do you have good ideas that might help another parent?
Feel free to contribute!! For July: Q. We're going to fly to visit relatives this
summer. I haven't flown with my kids before and would love some pointers.
F.L. Readers, give us your ideas!! How
have you successfully handled this problem? Readers responded with these
ideas: "I found a book called "My Friend the
Doctor: A Read Together Book for Parents and Children" that's helpful.
"The Berenstain Bears Go to the Doctor" is also fun."
G.M. "I let the kids bring their favorite
lovey with them and then I hold my child in my arms as the doctor is
examining them. I also look for pediatricians who are cheerful, look my
child in the eye and give suckers!" B.D. "If it's just a check-up, but my
child is anxious, I plan a fun activity right after the appointment so
they have something to look forward to." J.K. Editor's Note: Dr. Joseph Zelson, a
pediatrician at Yale, recommends having the child count to five while a
shot is given or telling the child to pretend that they're blowing out
candles to reduce pain and tears. |
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A Good
Read What's the
name of a parenting book, website or article that you've enjoyed? Please
share your thoughts with other parents! Please include the name of the
book, the author, and the year it was published. Also, include what you
liked about the book. "I liked "The Overscheduled
Child. Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap" because it addresses where we as
a society are today. Hurry, hurry, hurry! Do and do and do! We're
not taking time for our own lives and our kids' schedules totally dictate
what we do. Parents are trying to have
their kids specialize in sports at such young ages and the book points out
that that's harmful to kids. Number one, kids' bodies aren't built for
repetitive motions, so the authors provide statistics
showing that kids suffer more strained muscles and bone fractures
now. Number two, kids burn out on sports earlier and they document that if
kids play on travelling teams early on, that they'll burn out by 9th grade
and won't want to play. Also, the book points out that
some parents overcommit to sports in the hope that their child will get an
athletic scholarship, yet only 1-2% of kids actually get college
scholarships for sports. The book reaffirms that
nothing is more important than family time for kids and that parents can
fight back. These are the principles that the book outlines to help avoid
"hyper-parenting."
Lisa Vosbeek, |
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"Free"
Time! What does your family do for fun that
doesn't cost a lot of money?? Let's share some
ideas!! Watching the
Clouds! This sounds so simple, but we love
doing this! Sometimes we'll just lay on the nice warm grass in summertime
and watch the clouds go by. We look for possible shapes and figures
in the clouds. "There goes a turtle swimming in the water!"
Sometimes we try to name the type of clouds they are. (Cumulus?)
Other times, it leads to a discussion of what lies beyond the clouds
and questions about what angels look like? We let the conversation
drift, just like the clouds that are floating by.
A.S. |
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Toni
Schutta, Publisher, Families First Coaching Newsletter
Toni Schutta is a Parent
Coach with a Master's Degree in Psychology and 11 years experience working
with children and families. She's also the mother of two wonderful
children, a Licensed Psychologist, a certified graduate of the Mentor
Coach Foundations Program and a member of the International Coach
Federation. Families
First Coaching is an organization devoted
to building strong families by empowering parents with practical
information, easy-to-use tools and helpful resources that will help you be
the best parent possible. Individual parent coaching sessions are
available along with parent-to-parent support groups and parent education
classes. Check out the website at http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com for
a complete list of services. |
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Distribution
Rights Copyright 2004 Families First
Coaching. |
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