Families First Newsletter

Table of Contents- February, 2005
Feature Article- "28 Ways to Deepen Attachment With Your Child"
Parent-to Parent- Sharing/Grocery Store Tantrums
A Good Read- "Bringing Up Boys"
Free Time- "Ad Libs"
Positive Discipline Methods- Parent Messages
Upcoming Classes

Toni Joins National Coaching Firm

I am proud to announce that I have been selected out of hundreds of coaches specializing in parent coaching to be an Alliance Coach with Unlimited Growth Potential (www.UnlimitedGrowthPotential.com), a coaching company whose mission is to Empower Women to Live Incredibly Successful Lives!

Being chosen as the expert parent coach for Unlimited Growth Potential, positions me to help you, my friends and clients, in many ways. First, I am able to offer you discounts on services and products available to you from all of the coaches affiliated with Unlimited Growth Potential. Second, as a result of this alliance I am creating CDs and eBooks in 2005 which will be available to you which will further assist you in your quest for excellence in parenting. Third, my available resources have essentially been multiplied by 9 (the number of coaches with Unlimited Growth Potential.) This means that by partnering with me as your coach, you will have plenty of resources to help you on your way to success! And lastly, this month is our LAUNCH month and you will be able to take advantage of myriad FREE TELECLASSES on topics covering the gamut of what matters to you, including: Parenting, Finance, Stress Management, Career Transition, Small Business Sales and Marketing, Web Marketing, Relationships, Health and Nutrition and so much more! Check out all of the exciting happenings at www.UnlimitedGrowthPotential.com. And sign up for the many valuable newsletters you will see available on the site.

This is an exciting time to be coached and as the Chicago Tribune said recently, “Who Exactly Seeks Out A Coach?... Winners Who Want More Out Of Life!” I encourage you to make that decision to be a winner and to go for more in your life. I and all of the alliance coaches at Unlimited Growth Potential stand ready to help you live an incredibly successful life! Visit the site and tell me what you think!

Free Sample Parent Coaching Session

If you'd like to know more about me and give parent coaching a try, just e-mail me at:toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or give me a call at 612-810-8687 and we can schedule a free sample session. During this time, we'll get acquainted and you can share the topics you might like to cover with a parent coach. Together, we can figure out if parent coaching would be helpful to meet the needs of your family.

28 Ways to Deepen the Bond with Your Child

Like any good relationship, the relationship with your child can benefit from thoughtful gestures that help your child feel special and deeply loved.

It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting that we sometimes forget to add touches of love that can deepen the bond with our children.

I'm going to suggest 28 small, loving gestures that will add sparkle to your child's day without much effort on your part as you juggle the many demands of parenthood. Perhaps you want to try just one? Or perhaps you can try one each day this month? Know that your child will deeply appreciate the extra love you're sending his/her way.

Put love notes in their lunchbox
Whisper "I love you" in their ear
Call them by a pet name
Spend 15 minutes alone with them today
Snuggle closely tonight
Leave a Hershey's kiss on their pillow
Watch videos of them as a baby
Get a kid's joke book and giggle together
Massage their feet
Play their favorite game 6 times!
Let them stay up late one night with you
Tell them cute stories of when they were younger
Make a meal with all of their favorite things
Bake an "I love you" cake with Xs and Os on top
Make them their own soft, fuzzy blanket
Look them in the eye and tell them what you love most about them
Tell them you can't imagine parenting anyone else
Surprise them and have lunch with them at school
Take a walk in the woods together
Make them a tape with a secret message
Set up a scavenger hunt with a prize at the end
Give them coupons worth 10 free hugs
Have a tickle fest and enjoy their giggles
Make up a poem about them
Compliment them in front of someone else
Give them a single rose
Dance with them in the living room
Dress up and have a fancy dinner
Thank God for the incredible gift you've been given!

Positive Discipline Options

Each month a positive discipline option is offered. Collect them all and expand your repertoire!

Definition: The word "discipline" is from the root word "disciple" which means "one who teaches." The essence of discipline, therefore, is to provide a learning experience for the child to grow. (Provided by Dave Hudson)

Parent Messages

Parent messages are statements that you make to your child that tell them about how you feel about something they've done and the impact that it's had on you.

The statements are given in a positive manner that allows the child to make a choice on how s/he can improve the behaviors. It's a method for teaching children that parents have feelings, too, while modeling how to express feelings in a positive manner. Parent messages are also an excellent tool for nurturing empathy and sensitivity.

Here's how it might work: You say, "Sam I'm annoyed now because that noisy toy has given me a headache. You can play with it in the basement."

Or: "Emily, I'm frustrated because you keep interrupting me on the telephone. Please go in the other room until I'm off the phone, then I will talk to you."

When delivered in a respectful manner, parent messges will give your child an opporunity to become responsive to the needs of other people.

Upcoming TeleClasses

Take these classes from the comfort of home! You'll join other parents, via telephone, for parenting tips and a lively discussion all while sitting in your favorite armchair! There's no need to waste time driving to classes when you can participate from home in a "teleclass."

“How’s Your Balance? Take Action to Improve Your Work/Family Balance”
Feeling torn in many different directions? Ever riddled by guilt? Rarely have time for yourself? This two-part session will help you examine your life and how happy you are with your current choices. Tools for assessing balance will be provided along with steps you can take to live the life you want! JUST $40 for both sessions, a $60 savings! This "class" will be done privately, so you can register at your convenience. To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions.

"Tired of Time Out?" Learn 10 Positive Discipline Options You Can Use Now"

Stuck in a rut when it comes to discipline? You’re not alone! In this two-part class, you’ll learn 10 different discipline options to help you make positive choices with children 3-12 years of age. Parents will practice methods for increasing positive behavior and decreasing negative behavior. Come and find new solutions to nagging problems. Thursday, February 10 and Thursday, February 17, 6:30- 7:45 p.m. CST

($20.00 per class or $30.00 if you attend both classes.) To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions.

** NEW CLASS*** Managing Your Child’s Anger: Triggers and Solutions for Coping

Has your child had a tantrum lately, thrown toys across the room or hit a sibling? Odds are that s/he has! Children’s anger can be exacerbating for parents. Come to this teleclass to learn common triggers for a child’s anger, solutions for coping, and skills to teach your child so you’ll both be less frazzled! Thursday, March 3, 6:30- 7:45 p.m. CST ($20) To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions.

IN-PERSON CLASSES

“Relief for Homework Headaches” is a class designed to help parents solve the most common homework problems. Parents will learn how the homework brain works, methods for identifying their child’s learning style and ways to make learning fun. Parents will leave the class with strategies for motivating their child, plans for creating rituals that provide consistency and a “checklist for change.” Come to “school” for 90 minutes and find relief that will last throughout the year! Wednesday, February 2, 7 p.m to 8:30 p.m. St. Odilia’s Church, Shoreview, MN. No fee and no registration required.

“Siblings Without Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too” This is a 2-part series based on the best-selling book “Siblings Without Rivalry.” Hands down, this is the best book ever written about how to nurture sibling relationships. The topics covered are: helping siblings deal with their feelings about each other; keeping children separate and unequal; siblings in roles; when the kids fight; and problem solving. Take this class to help reduce sibling squabbles and make harmony possible. Parents will children any age can benefit from this class. Tuesday, February 15 and Tuesday, February 22, 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Central Pediatrics, Woodbury, MN. ($30) To register, call Trish Pitcher at 651-731-5011.

“Managing Your Child’s Anger: Triggers and Solutions for Coping Has your child had a tantrum lately, thrown toys across the room or hit a sibling? Odds are that s/he has! Children’s anger can be exacerbating for parents. Come to this class to learn common triggers for a child’s anger, solutions for coping, and skills to teach your child so you’ll both be less frazzled! Parents with children age 3-12 will benefit the most from this class. Saturday, February 19, 10 a.m. to 11:15 a.m. at Central Pediatrics, Woodbury, MN. ($20) To register, call Trish Pitcher at 651-731-5011.

Parent-to-Parent

This is a place for parents to exchange ideas. Would you like to get ideas from other parents about a parenting concern? Do you have good ideas that might help another parent? Feel free to contribute!!

For March.: Q. My child throws awful temper tantrums at the grocery store. What can I do? L.P.

Readers, give us your ideas!! How haveyou successfully handled this problem?
Just send your responses to:news@familiesfirstcoaching.com. I'll
share your suggestions next month.Feel free to pose a question, too!!

From Last Month: : Q. My kids have a togh time sharing. I'd like some tips.
.
Readers responded with these ideas:

"In our house, the rule is, if you set a toy down that means that you're done playing with it and the other child can have a turn." M.L.

"My children can each pick 3 toys that they don't want to share with anyone because they are so special. The rule is that the child keeps those toys in their room and no one else can play with them. If they choose to play with that toy in other parts of the house, then the toy is fair game for anyone to play with." T.S.

"If the toys aren't expensive, I buy two of them." A.L.

"You can use a timer so that each child gets to play with that toy for 5 minutes and then they trade toys when the timer goes off." B.K.

"If the children are fighting over a toy, I put the toy in a time out and no one gets to play with it until they can come up with a solution on how to share the toy." S.L.

A Good Read

What's the name of a parenting book, website or article that you've enjoyed? Please share your thoughts with other parents! Please include the name of the book, the author, and the year it was published. Also, include what you liked about the book.

"What I liked about "Bringing Up Boys" (Dr. James Dobson, 2001, Tyndale) is that it talks specifically about differences that boys have and their needs based on those differences. For instance, the author talks about how boys are all engine and no rudder and it's true! They're enthusiastic and lack direction and sometimes don't make good choices, but that's normal.

The book has a lot of vignettes and I think "What I'm going through isn't that bad after all." Dobson is a Christian author so there are quotes from Scripture. He also gives lots of suggestions and at the end of each chapter are questions he commonly receives and answers to those questions.

One thing I didn't like is that it's geared more toward older boys who are school-age.

There are chapters about the physiological differences of boys, the role moms and dads should play, how to deal with bullies and information on a school that would be appropriate for your boy. Dobson also celebrates differences and says it's OK to be different, or loud, or messy! K.J.

"Free" Time!

What does your family do for fun that doesn't cost a lot of money?? Let's share some ideas!!

Ad Lib!

"I love this game because you can play it anywhere-- in the car, at the dinner table, on a long plane ride. The game is simply a storytelling technique where one family member uses his/her imagination to tell the first few lines of a story. The next family member then takes over and creates the next few lines, until all the family members have had a chance to contribute. Of course, the zanier you are, the better. You can keep up the storytelling until the children's enthusiasm wanes. Sometimes it's fun to record them and play them back to add to the fun! A.S.

Toni Schutta, Publisher, Families First News

Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with a Master's Degree in Psychology and 10 years experience working with children and families. She's also the mother of two wonderful children, a Licensed Psychologist, a certified graduate of the Mentor Coach Foundations Program and a member of the International Coach Federation.

Families First Coaching is an organization devoted to building strong families by empowering parents with practical information, easy-to-use tools and helpful resources that will help you be the best parent possible. Individual parent coaching sessions are available along with parent-to-parent support groups and parent education groups. Check out the website at http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com for a complete list of services.

If you enjoy this newsletter and know of someone else who might, please forward it to your friend.

If you would like to subscribe to this newsletter, please e-mail: news@familiesfirstcoaching.com and type "subscribe me" in the subject line. All information is held in strict confidence.

If you would like to unsubscribe to this newsletter, please e-mail: news@familiesfirstcoaching.com and type "unsubscribe" in the subject line.

Distribution Rights

Families First Coaching Newsletter is copyrighted, but you may retransmit or
distribute it to others as long as you acknowledge familiesfirstcoaching.com as the source of the information . However, you may not copy it to a web site.
Republication, and distribution, of Families First Coaching Newsletter in print is encouraged and permitted as long as the issue is printed in its entirety and includes the contact information.


	Table of Contents- February, 2005 Feature Article- "28 Ways to Deepen Attachment With Your Child" Parent-to Parent- Sharing/Grocery Store Tantrums A Good Read- "Bringing Up Boys" Free Time- "Ad Libs" Positive Discipline Methods- Parent Messages Upcoming Classes
	Toni Joins National Coaching Firm I am proud to announce that I have been selected out of hundreds of coaches specializing in parent coaching to be an Alliance Coach with Unlimited Growth Potential (www.UnlimitedGrowthPotential.com), a coaching company whose mission is to Empower Women to Live Incredibly Successful Lives! Being chosen as the expert parent coach for Unlimited Growth Potential, positions me to help you, my friends and clients, in many ways. First, I am able to offer you discounts on services and products available to you from all of the coaches affiliated with Unlimited Growth Potential. Second, as a result of this alliance I am creating CDs and eBooks in 2005 which will be available to you which will further assist you in your quest for excellence in parenting. Third, my available resources have essentially been multiplied by 9 (the number of coaches with Unlimited Growth Potential.) This means that by partnering with me as your coach, you will have plenty of resources to help you on your way to success! And lastly, this month is our LAUNCH month and you will be able to take advantage of myriad FREE TELECLASSES on topics covering the gamut of what matters to you, including: Parenting, Finance, Stress Management, Career Transition, Small Business Sales and Marketing, Web Marketing, Relationships, Health and Nutrition and so much more! Check out all of the exciting happenings at www.UnlimitedGrowthPotential.com. And sign up for the many valuable newsletters you will see available on the site. This is an exciting time to be coached and as the Chicago Tribune said recently, “Who Exactly Seeks Out A Coach?... Winners Who Want More Out Of Life!” I encourage you to make that decision to be a winner and to go for more in your life. I and all of the alliance coaches at Unlimited Growth Potential stand ready to help you live an incredibly successful life! Visit the site and tell me what you think! Free Sample Parent Coaching Session If you'd like to know more about me and give parent coaching a try, just e-mail me at:toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or give me a call at 612-810-8687 and we can schedule a free sample session. During this time, we'll get acquainted and you can share the topics you might like to cover with a parent coach. Together, we can figure out if parent coaching would be helpful to meet the needs of your family.

	28 Ways to Deepen the Bond with Your Child Like any good relationship, the relationship with your child can benefit from thoughtful gestures that help your child feel special and deeply loved. It's so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day responsibilities of parenting that we sometimes forget to add touches of love that can deepen the bond with our children. I'm going to suggest 28 small, loving gestures that will add sparkle to your child's day without much effort on your part as you juggle the many demands of parenthood. Perhaps you want to try just one? Or perhaps you can try one each day this month? Know that your child will deeply appreciate the extra love you're sending his/her way. Put love notes in their lunchbox Whisper "I love you" in their ear Call them by a pet name Spend 15 minutes alone with them today Snuggle closely tonight Leave a Hershey's kiss on their pillow Watch videos of them as a baby Get a kid's joke book and giggle together Massage their feet Play their favorite game 6 times! Let them stay up late one night with you Tell them cute stories of when they were younger Make a meal with all of their favorite things Bake an "I love you" cake with Xs and Os on top Make them their own soft, fuzzy blanket Look them in the eye and tell them what you love most about them Tell them you can't imagine parenting anyone else Surprise them and have lunch with them at school Take a walk in the woods together Make them a tape with a secret message Set up a scavenger hunt with a prize at the end Give them coupons worth 10 free hugs Have a tickle fest and enjoy their giggles Make up a poem about them Compliment them in front of someone else Give them a single rose Dance with them in the living room Dress up and have a fancy dinner Thank God for the incredible gift you've been given!

	Positive Discipline Options Each month a positive discipline option is offered. Collect them all and expand your repertoire! Definition: The word "discipline" is from the root word "disciple" which means "one who teaches." The essence of discipline, therefore, is to provide a learning experience for the child to grow. (Provided by Dave Hudson) Parent Messages Parent messages are statements that you make to your child that tell them about how you feel about something they've done and the impact that it's had on you. The statements are given in a positive manner that allows the child to make a choice on how s/he can improve the behaviors. It's a method for teaching children that parents have feelings, too, while modeling how to express feelings in a positive manner. Parent messages are also an excellent tool for nurturing empathy and sensitivity. Here's how it might work: You say, "Sam I'm annoyed now because that noisy toy has given me a headache. You can play with it in the basement." Or: "Emily, I'm frustrated because you keep interrupting me on the telephone. Please go in the other room until I'm off the phone, then I will talk to you." When delivered in a respectful manner, parent messges will give your child an opporunity to become responsive to the needs of other people.

	Upcoming TeleClasses Take these classes from the comfort of home! You'll join other parents, via telephone, for parenting tips and a lively discussion all while sitting in your favorite armchair! There's no need to waste time driving to classes when you can participate from home in a "teleclass." “How’s Your Balance? Take Action to Improve Your Work/Family Balance” Feeling torn in many different directions? Ever riddled by guilt? Rarely have time for yourself? This two-part session will help you examine your life and how happy you are with your current choices. Tools for assessing balance will be provided along with steps you can take to live the life you want! JUST $40 for both sessions, a $60 savings! This "class" will be done privately, so you can register at your convenience. To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions. "Tired of Time Out?" Learn 10 Positive Discipline Options You Can Use Now" Stuck in a rut when it comes to discipline? You’re not alone! In this two-part class, you’ll learn 10 different discipline options to help you make positive choices with children 3-12 years of age. Parents will practice methods for increasing positive behavior and decreasing negative behavior. Come and find new solutions to nagging problems. Thursday, February 10 and Thursday, February 17, 6:30- 7:45 p.m. CST ($20.00 per class or $30.00 if you attend both classes.) To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions. NEW CLASS* Managing Your Child’s Anger: Triggers and Solutions for Coping Has your child had a tantrum lately, thrown toys across the room or hit a sibling? Odds are that s/he has! Children’s anger can be exacerbating for parents. Come to this teleclass to learn common triggers for a child’s anger, solutions for coping, and skills to teach your child so you’ll both be less frazzled! Thursday, March 3, 6:30- 7:45 p.m. CST ($20) To register: Send an e-mail to toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com or call 612-810-8687 with any questions. IN-PERSON CLASSES “Relief for Homework Headaches” is a class designed to help parents solve the most common homework problems. Parents will learn how the homework brain works, methods for identifying their child’s learning style and ways to make learning fun. Parents will leave the class with strategies for motivating their child, plans for creating rituals that provide consistency and a “checklist for change.” Come to “school” for 90 minutes and find relief that will last throughout the year! Wednesday, February 2, 7 p.m to 8:30 p.m. St. Odilia’s Church, Shoreview, MN. No fee and no registration required. “Siblings Without Rivalry: How To Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too” This is a 2-part series based on the best-selling book “Siblings Without Rivalry.” Hands down, this is the best book ever written about how to nurture sibling relationships. The topics covered are: helping siblings deal with their feelings about each other; keeping children separate and unequal; siblings in roles; when the kids fight; and problem solving. Take this class to help reduce sibling squabbles and make harmony possible. Parents will children any age can benefit from this class. Tuesday, February 15 and Tuesday, February 22, 7 to 8:30 p.m. at Central Pediatrics, Woodbury, MN. ($30) To register, call Trish Pitcher at 651-731-5011. “Managing Your Child’s Anger: Triggers and Solutions for Coping Has your child had a tantrum lately, thrown toys across the room or hit a sibling? Odds are that s/he has! Children’s anger can be exacerbating for parents. Come to this class to learn common triggers for a child’s anger, solutions for coping, and skills to teach your child so you’ll both be less frazzled! Parents with children age 3-12 will benefit the most from this class. Saturday, February 19, 10 a.m. to 11:15 a.m. at Central Pediatrics, Woodbury, MN. ($20) To register, call Trish Pitcher at 651-731-5011.

	Parent-to-Parent This is a place for parents to exchange ideas. Would you like to get ideas from other parents about a parenting concern? Do you have good ideas that might help another parent? Feel free to contribute!! For March.: Q. My child throws awful temper tantrums at the grocery store. What can I do? L.P. Readers, give us your ideas!! How haveyou successfully handled this problem? Just send your responses to:news@familiesfirstcoaching.com. I'll share your suggestions next month.Feel free to pose a question, too!! From Last Month: : Q. My kids have a togh time sharing. I'd like some tips. . Readers responded with these ideas: "In our house, the rule is, if you set a toy down that means that you're done playing with it and the other child can have a turn." M.L. "My children can each pick 3 toys that they don't want to share with anyone because they are so special. The rule is that the child keeps those toys in their room and no one else can play with them. If they choose to play with that toy in other parts of the house, then the toy is fair game for anyone to play with." T.S. "If the toys aren't expensive, I buy two of them." A.L. "You can use a timer so that each child gets to play with that toy for 5 minutes and then they trade toys when the timer goes off." B.K. "If the children are fighting over a toy, I put the toy in a time out and no one gets to play with it until they can come up with a solution on how to share the toy." S.L.

	A Good Read What's the name of a parenting book, website or article that you've enjoyed? Please share your thoughts with other parents! Please include the name of the book, the author, and the year it was published. Also, include what you liked about the book. "What I liked about "Bringing Up Boys" (Dr. James Dobson, 2001, Tyndale) is that it talks specifically about differences that boys have and their needs based on those differences. For instance, the author talks about how boys are all engine and no rudder and it's true! They're enthusiastic and lack direction and sometimes don't make good choices, but that's normal. The book has a lot of vignettes and I think "What I'm going through isn't that bad after all." Dobson is a Christian author so there are quotes from Scripture. He also gives lots of suggestions and at the end of each chapter are questions he commonly receives and answers to those questions. One thing I didn't like is that it's geared more toward older boys who are school-age. There are chapters about the physiological differences of boys, the role moms and dads should play, how to deal with bullies and information on a school that would be appropriate for your boy. Dobson also celebrates differences and says it's OK to be different, or loud, or messy! K.J.

	*"Free" Time!* What does your family do for fun that doesn't cost a lot of money?? Let's share some ideas!! Ad Lib! "I love this game because you can play it anywhere-- in the car, at the dinner table, on a long plane ride. The game is simply a storytelling technique where one family member uses his/her imagination to tell the first few lines of a story. The next family member then takes over and creates the next few lines, until all the family members have had a chance to contribute. Of course, the zanier you are, the better. You can keep up the storytelling until the children's enthusiasm wanes. Sometimes it's fun to record them and play them back to add to the fun! A.S.

	Toni Schutta, Publisher, Families First News Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with a Master's Degree in Psychology and 10 years experience working with children and families. She's also the mother of two wonderful children, a Licensed Psychologist, a certified graduate of the Mentor Coach Foundations Program and a member of the International Coach Federation. Families First Coaching is an organization devoted to building strong families by empowering parents with practical information, easy-to-use tools and helpful resources that will help you be the best parent possible. Individual parent coaching sessions are available along with parent-to-parent support groups and parent education groups. Check out the website at http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com for a complete list of services.

	If you enjoy this newsletter and know of someone else who might, please forward it to your friend. If you would like to subscribe to this newsletter, please e-mail: news@familiesfirstcoaching.com and type "subscribe me" in the subject line. All information is held in strict confidence. If you would like to unsubscribe to this newsletter, please e-mail: news@familiesfirstcoaching.com and type "unsubscribe" in the subject line.
	Distribution Rights Families First Coaching Newsletter is copyrighted, but you may retransmit or distribute it to others as long as you acknowledge familiesfirstcoaching.com as the source of the information . However, you may not copy it to a web site. Republication, and distribution, of Families First Coaching Newsletter in print is encouraged and permitted as long as the issue is printed in its entirety and includes the contact information. Copyright 2004 Families First Coaching.