"Mom, how come there’s a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day, but there isn’t a Sister’s Day?" my four-year-old daughter said to me one day. I said, "That’s a good question! Would you like to have a Sister’s Day?" "YES!!!!" she responded with gusto.

So from the mouth of a babe, the notion of "Sister’s Day" was hatched! We held our first annual Sister’s Day recently with great success and I’d like to offer the idea of a "Sibling’s Day," or "Brother’s Day" or "Sister’s Day" for you and your family.

The whole idea of holidays like Mother’s Day is to set aside time to honor the person with special recognition, to spend time with that person and to offer kind words that acknowledge their special qualities. Siblings, of all family members, could probably benefit most from this! So why not offer an opportunity for your children to honor each other and reduce sibling rivalry?

If you decide to proceed, consider the following guidelines:

• Have the children share their vision of the day.
• Brainstorm on activities that would be fun.
• Make sure that one of each child’s ideas is incorporated into the final product.
• Keep the celebration to half a day.
• Consider if cards, food and presents will be part of the recognition.
• Be flexible.

Expect that emotions (positive and negative) may be amplified that day. Just let the children know that if a problem arises that day, it’s just fine, because working together, you can solve any problem!

I came across another wonderful idea one time in "Family Fun" magazine. Lynne Ticknor had written an article called, "The Special Plate" for the "My Great Idea" column.

In the article, Lynn said that her sons’ name-calling, disrespect, pushing, shoving and squabbling was driving her crazy. In a parenting class, she learned of an idea called the "Special Plate" and she decided to try it to reduce the sibling rivalry.

Here’s how it works. Each night at dinner one person receives an honorary plate that looks different from the rest. During the meal, each family member takes turns saying something that he or she appreciates about the other person. The person can offer a specific example like "I really liked it when you played Uno with me today" or it can be a more global compliment like, "I think that you’re really funny and I like it when you make me laugh."

Every person in the family gets a turn (even parents need compliments!) and then you just rotate the honors! The author noted that there is less sibling rivalry and as an added bonus, it improved her relationship with her spouse!

Lastly, I’d like to offer a specific idea from the "Siblings Without Rivalry" book , which in my opinion, is the best book written on sibling relationships. The authors, Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, note that inadvertently, parents contribute to hostility between siblings by comparing them to one another. They caution that both favorable and unfavorable comparisons add fuel to the fire of sibling rivalry.

A "favorable" comparison like "You’re so organized! I wish your sister was more like you!" gives the sibling you’re complimenting a one-up position and in effect, downgrades the other sibling. Instead, you could state the compliment, "You’re so organized!" without making any reference to a sibling who’s not.

Likewise, an unfavorable comparison like "You brother always practices his trumpet without me nagging him. Why can’t you?" will only increase negative feelings toward the other sibling who is seen as the favored child in that example. Instead, simply state what the problem is, "You didn’t practice your trumpet today" and work toward a solution such as "I’d like you to make a schedule of when you’re going to practice this week."

Monitoring (and curtailing) your use of sibling comparisons will keep the focus on the behavior, rather than on the other sibling, which is where you want it to be anyway!