Free Teleclass on January 24!

I'm grateful that you're part of my parenting community and to express my thanks, I'd like to offer you a present that I hope will bring you happiness throughout 2009. Please be my guest for a free teleclass called "Parents: Reclaim Your Couple Time!"

For many of us, it seems that our relationship with our loved one takes a back seat to all of the demands of parenting. I'm hoping that you'll be able to take one hour out of your busy schedules to gain numerous tips for connecting more often with your loved one in a fun and meaningful way.

We'll meet, by telephone, on Sat., Jan. 24 from 9 a.m.- 10 a.m. CT/10 a.m.-11 a.m. ET. You can register here: http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/CoupleTime.htm  If you absolutely can't come, register anyway and I'll send you a recording after the class.

I hope that you'll invest one hour in the relationship that's most vital to your family's success.
 

Attention General Mills Employees!

Starting Tuesday, January 27, Toni will be available twice a month at General Mills for private parenting consultations from 10 a.m.-2 p.m. You pick the topic and I’ll give you every possible solution I can think of. Receive 25% off if you’re one of the first 10 parents to sign up! Check out the details here: http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/GeneralMills.htm   

 

Reclaim Your Couple Time!

If you’re like most parents you devote yourself to your children, work long hours, take care of all of life’s demands and let your relationship with your loved one drop to the bottom of the heap.

You may believe that since your loved one isn’t demanding your attention like the children do that s/he doesn’t really need your time and attention. Or you may feel guilty leaving your child(ren). Or you may feel too tired so your relationship goes on autopilot until you regain enough energy to nurture it again.

Yet, communication and companionship are two of the main ingredients for keeping a couple happy and together. (1) Given the high rate of divorce in America and the incredible pain it causes, why do so many couples persist in neglecting each other?

There are many social trends putting stress on American couples.

• Both parents work outside the home in over 70% of American households.

• The average number of hours worked each week is 47 hours.

• Commute time has increased: American men spend an average of 81 minutes a day in their cars and women spend 64 minutes.

• Working couples have 22 fewer hours of personal time than they had three decades ago.

• Americans generally vacation only 10 days a year and 25% take no vacation at all.

• Americans work 12 weeks more per year in total hours than do Europeans. (2)

The crazy work ethic that Americans have adopted pulls families apart. Couples spend less time together. Families spend less time together. Couples drift apart.

Work isn’t the only culprit, however. Culturally, there’s pressure to put your child on the fast track. Organized activities for children have taken center stage in many American households in an effort to produce "Super Kids." Consider these facts from a University of Michigan study (3):

• Kids have 12 hours per week less free time.

• Play time has been decreased by three hours per week.

• Unstructured outdoor activities fell by 50%.

• Time spent in structured sports has doubled from 2 hours 20 minutes per week to 5 hours 17 minutes per week from 1981-1997. Boys and girls increased equally in structured sports time, but boys still spend twice as much time as girls in sports.

• Passive, spectator leisure (not counting television or other forms of "screen time") has increased five-fold from 30 minutes per week to over three hours per week mostly due to kids watching siblings play structured sports.

What this means is that you’re not just sending your kids outside to play, but you’re driving them to structured activities and using precious hours of free time in the car.

Schools are also adding pressure to a family’s life. Studying increased by almost 50% from 1981-1997. (3)
Family meals, one of the best ways for families and couples to stay connected, have also declined by 33% in the last 30 years. (4)

So, if you’re feeling like there are many factors pulling the two of you apart you’re absolutely right!

And do you know what the most common activity is that couples do? They watch TV. (5)

The most appalling statistic of all, however, is that married American couples spend, on average, just four minutes a day in meaningful conversation. (5)

If any of these facts have inspired you to make changes, I hope that you’ll attend my free teleclass “Parents: Reclaim Your Couple Time” on Sat., Jan. 24, 9 a.m. CT for one hour. We’ll problem-solve to remove some of the barriers getting in the way of couple time and you’ll leave inspired with over 50 fun date ideas to try!

You can register here: http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/CoupleTime.htm. Without a strong marital foundation the whole family system can fall apart, so register now. If you can’t attend, sign up anyway and I’ll send you an audio recording after the class.

References:

1. “Compatability, Leisure, and Satisfaction in Marital Relationships”, Journal of Marriage and the Family, 64, 433-449, D.W. Crawford, R.M. Houts, T.L. Huston, and L.J. George (2002).

2. “Work Life Balance-An Overview” www.WorkLifeBalanceCentre.org/nickhalpinl.php

3. Findings from national time diary surveys conducted in 1981 and 1997 by the Survey Research Center at the University of Michigan.

4. www.puttingfamilyfirst.org
 
5. American Demographics.

 

Positive Parenting Tip

Fun Ways to Connect With Your Child

If you’re looking for simple, fun ideas as alternatives to screen time for you and your kids, I’d like to recommend a website. The site is filled with free/low-cost crafts, books, recipes, games, sports, winter fun and science projects for parents to do with kids of all ages. The site is www.familytlc.net. Simply type in the child’s age (baby-13+) and you can get ideas each month for new activities.
 

 

"Free" Time!

What does your family do for fun that doesn’t cost a lot of money? Please share your ideas.

Watch Home Movies

Instead of popping in a movie this month, why not let the kids watch home movies of themselves? It’s so much fun for the kids to see themselves as younger children and it triggers great memories from you that you can share with your children. So pop some popcorn and let the home movies begin!
 

DON’T FORGET!
INSTANT PARENTING SOLUTIONS
ARE NOW AVAILABLE FOR:

1. Getting Your Child to Listen the First Time

2. Back Talk and Whining

3. Reducing Sibling Hassles

4. Creating a Discipline Plan that Works

5. Homework Headaches

6. Finding More Joy

7. Children’s Anger

8. How to Stop Bullying

9. Money Matters! Teach your Child the Value of a Buck

10. EQ: Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child

11. Are You Listening? 5 Great Ways to Connect with Your Child

12. Helping Your Child with Transitions

13. How to Win the Chore Wars

Go to www.getparentinghelpnow.com any time of the day or night and find practical solutions to common parenting problems when you need them most. You’ll find audio recordings, along with study guides, with solutions to 13 of the most common parenting problems, available 24/7.

 

Toni Schutta, Publisher, Families First Coaching Newsletter

Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with a Master's Degree in Psychology and 14 years experience working with children and families. She's also the mother of two wonderful children, a Licensed Psychologist, a certified graduate of the Mentor Coach Foundations Program and a member of the International Coach Federation and The Parent Coaches Association.

Families First Coaching is an organization devoted to building strong families by empowering parents with practical information, easy-to-use tools and helpful resources that will help you be the best parent possible. Individual parent coaching sessions are available along with parent-to-parent support groups and parent education classes. Check out the websites at http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com  and http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com for a complete list of services.