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Table of Contents - May 2012
Feature Article: What is a Good Mom?
Parenting Tip: FREE: “The Best Mother’s Day Gift”
Upcoming Classes: FREE Class: “Me Time Without the Guilt!”
A Good Read: “Confessions of a Slacker Mom”
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What is a Good Mom?
In honor of Mother’s Day I decided to survey some
kids about their definition of a “good mom.” Let me share some of the findings
with you and then offer a few ideas of my own. I’d love to hear your ideas, too!
You can add your thoughts
HERE.
Make sure to "like" the page also!
“A good mom treats her kids well. She gives them
consequences ‘cuz you don’t want kids to do mean things.” A six-year-old girl
“A good mom is one who’s nice and caring and really fun to be around and play
with.” A middle school boy
“A good mom doesn’t yell much, gives her kids freedom, is loving, rewards good
behavior, is nice, smart and a good role model.” Our youngest daughter
“A good mom is someone who is honest and obviously cares about her kids and
tries to always give what is best for them.” Our teenager
“A good mom takes care of me when I’m sick.” A second-grade boy
“A good mom is supportive but not too overprotective.” A sixth-grade girl
“A good mom is someone who punishes her kids because if a kid is going to grow
up well they have to know right from wrong.” A fifth-grade girl
As you can see, the kids’ wishes are simple: love me, care for me, support me,
and be nice to me. Not one child said a good mom signs me up for a lot of
activities or spends time with me in the car or has me go to the best schools.
They just want you to be there for them.
Here are my thoughts on being a “good mom.”
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Love
your child for who h/she is not what
s/he does. Amazingly, a child’s
personality starts bubbling up as an
infant. By toddlerhood your child has
very strong likes and dislikes. Your
child may not be like you or even what
you envisioned but the most important
gift you can give is to love your child
for who s/he is rather than for what
s/he does.
-
Be
there. Psychologist Robert Karen
offers this definition: “What makes a
good mother? You don’t need to be rich
or smart of talented or funny. You just
have to be there.” In today’s busy world
one of the greatest gifts you can give
your kids is your full, undivided
attention. Sometimes you need down time
and open spaces so spontaneous
conversations can pop up, fun can erupt
or snuggle time can occur.
-
Be a
good listener. As a parent, you
may be quick to offer solutions. You may
want to fix everything and make it
better. Sometimes your kids just need
you to listen without offering advice.
They need you to listen from your heart.
-
Meet
your child’s needs but don’t forget to
have fun. As parents, you have
an unending to-do list: make dinner,
drive to soccer practice, pick up the
dry cleaning, get homework done, clean
up the house, read books, etc. There are
numerous demands for your time. What if
you threw the schedule out the window
one day, or even for 15 minutes a day to
have fun? What if you had a tickle fest
or played their favorite game or read a
kids’ joke book? Those are the memorable
moments when you’re going to feel
connected and less stressed.
-
Be
forgiving. Kids mess up. That’s
their job. Do you purse our lips, scold
them and say, “I told you so?” Or do you
sing a song about making mistakes
instead? Or tell your child about the
big blooper you made today? Or tell them
the best things about mistakes is that
you get to learn from them.
In closing,
here's what a few other children shared.
"A good mom is
a good role model for her kids and others.”
A middle school boy
“A good mom lets kids watch TV whenever they
want to.” A 6 ½ year-old boy
“A good mom buys you something at a garage
sale.” A 4 ½ year-old boy
“A good mom is definitely supportive,
loving, and stuff.” A college student
“A good mom lets you do stuff freely and
takes time to ask you about your day.” A
fifth-grade girl
You can add your thoughts
HERE.
Make sure to "like" the page also!
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Free Class in May!!
“Me Time Without the Guilt” Teleclass
Register Now!
In honor of
Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I’d like to give
you a gift this month. It’s a gift that focuses
on you, not your children, and can bring you
greater joy.
My guess is that you put every ounce of energy
you have into raising your child. You’re busy
making sure that your child gets enough sleep,
eats well, has friends, does homework, gets
involved in sports etc. etc. In today’s culture,
your life revolves around your children and it
can leave you feeling drained.
If you’d like to take some time to focus on you,
without the guilt, please come to my free
60-minute teleclass, “Me Time Without the Guilt”
on Wed., May 9 at Noon CT/1 p.m. ET./11 a.m.
MT/ 10 a.m. PT. (If you can’t attend the
class live, please sign up anyway and we’ll send
you the recording the next day.) Register here
now:
http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/MeTime.htm
Attend the teleclass and you’ll:
 Reduce
the guilt you feel about time for yourself.
Free
up time for passions in your own life.
Walk
away with an action plan to bring you more
joy.
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“A benefit of
attending this class was the quality
time it gave me to focus on my
needs. Because of this, I felt
calmer around my husband and kids
and felt MY needs were fulfilled
more often.
Thanks so much Toni! You've helped
me in many ways!”
Lisa M., St. Paul, MN
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Claim your FREE Teleclass “Me Time Without the
Guilt” here:
http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/MeTime.htm
And to all of you moms, Happy Mother’s Day! And
to all of you dads, an early Happy Father’s
Day!! Hope you can join me on May 9th!
Register now at:
http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/MeTime.htm
Email me at
toni@getparentinghelpnow.com or call me at
612-810-8687 if you have any questions.
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Parenting Tip
The Best Mother’s Day Gift
What do you think
the best Mother’s Day gift would be? Eating out?
A new necklace? Flowers? A lovely day with your
family? All of those things would be wonderful.
I’m thinking about a gift that would last longer
than that. I’m thinking about the gift of a
happier family that will bring you long-lasting
joy.
Watch your in-box for an email from me on
Thurs., May 10 when I’ll share with you how I can
help you have a happier family.
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UPCOMING TELECLASSES
“Me Time Without the
Guilt!” Teleclass – Wed., May 9 from Noon-1 p.m.
CT/ 1-2 p.m. ET/11 a.m.-12 MT/ 10-11 a.m. PT.
Please note: if you can’t attend the teleclass live,
sign up anyway. An audio recording of the class will
be sent to you the very next day. To register go to:
http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/MeTime.htm
“Get Your Child to Listen the FIRST Time“
Teleclass, Wed., May 16, Noon, Exclusive offer
for Learning RX family and friends of Minnesota.
“Mean Girls (And Boys): What Parents Can do to
Stop Bullying” – Wed., May 30, Noon, Exclusive
offer for Learning RX family and friends of
Minnesota.
UPCOMING CLASSES
“EQ: Raise an
Emotionally Intelligent Child” - Tues., May 1, 6
p.m., OH Elementary School, Mahtomedi, MN.
“Transitioning to Middle School” Tues., May 22, 6
p.m., Mahtomedi Public Schools, MN.
Toni offers 20 different parent education classes.
If you’d like to book Toni at your company, school
or organization, please go to:
http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com/Pages/Speakerspage.html
or call Toni at 612-810-8687.
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A Good Read
Each month a parent
provides a review of a parenting book they've
enjoyed. Please e-mail
toni@familiesfirstcoaching.com to share a good
read with other parents.
“Confessions of a Slacker Mom”
By Muffy
Mead-Ferro
“I would definitely recommend this book! It’s a
quick read that’s comical, cute and takes a
light-hearted approach to helping us feel good about
ourselves as moms.
The title is a bit misleading. What the author is
really suggesting is that we take the pressure off
of ourselves and not overindulge our kids. Not being
supermom is OK. Just do the best that you can. I
found this reassuring.
There were two chapters that I particularly liked.
One is titled, “Toys Aren’t Us.” The author has just
one basket of toys for her kids and that’s it. She
really spoke to our culture of overindulgence and
lives by different values. She teaches her kids to
“make do” and use their imagination.
The other chapter I enjoyed was “There Goes
Harvard.” The author suggests that precocious
learning is not beneficial to our kids and pits
children against other children. She cares about
education but doesn’t want to push her children
before they’re ready.
She also reminds us that parents need to have a life
of their own. It’s important for us and it’s
important for our children.” Megan, Lino Lakes, MN
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Toni Schutta, Publisher, Families First Coaching Newsletter
Toni Schutta is a Parent Coach with a Master's
Degree in Psychology and 17 years experience working
with children and families. She's also the mother of
two wonderful children, a Licensed Psychologist, a
certified graduate of the Mentor Coach Foundations
Program, a member of The Parent Coaches Association,
an author, speaker and past radio host.
Families First Coaching
is an organization devoted to building strong
families by empowering parents with practical
information, easy-to-use tools and helpful resources
that will help you be the best parent possible.
Individual parent coaching sessions are available
along with parent-to-parent support groups and
parent education classes. Check out the websites at
http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com and
http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com for a
complete list of services. |
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